How I Stay[ed] Alive - A Personal Story

Once upon a time during the hardest summer of my life, I went backpacking. I planted a veg and herb garden. I only walked to work. I ate my meals in a sunroom, rain or shine. I slept with my windows and doors wide open, and let the sunshine set my circadian rhythm.

Science tells us that being outdoors relieves stress. It strengthens our immune responses, sharpens focus, and calms the mind.

I wasn’t thinking much about these things during that summer. I was kind of thinking more about general survival. How to wake up, and how to want to be alive. How to fill my lungs with oxygen. How to form words. Sparing the details, I had dug seven years deep, and with a divorce on the horizon, I began to dig upwards, one trowel-full at a time.

Science tells us that being outdoors shapes our eating and drinking habits, helps us tone our body and muscles, and strengthens our short-term memory.

I didn’t do it on purpose…the outdoors thing. Somehow, it just happened. When panic settled into my body and brain, I fled out into the street for gulps of evening air. When I couldn’t compete with confusion, I ran into the woods and scaled Giant Steps Trail to watch the sun set over the city. When fear blocked my senses, I walked a short mile to my garden space and dug my hands wrist-deep into the earth. When I was searching for support, I went backpacking in the Adirondacks with other searchers through a partner organization, Wilderness Journeys. When loneliness gnawed at me, I slurped frozen yogurt under the tree in my front yard with my friend; our bodies splayed on the bumpy roots, bruised hearts bare.

Science tells us that being outdoors improves vision, increases longevity, and helps our bodies to soak up much-needed minerals.

Once upon a time during the hardest summer of my life, I had exactly what I needed: Resources / a job that understood / friends / healthcare with every therapy imaginable / safe access to the outdoors / supplies to enjoy the outdoors safely and comfortably.

The vitamins of sunshine, filtered lake water, rocks-in-my-pockets, trail granola, wet sneakers, and sun-ripened raspberries ensured my survival. I grew and blossomed and healed, and I continue to heal due to the unimaginable privilege and unlimited goodwill of those moments, those people, and those outdoor days.

I was so unimaginably lucky.

For as long as I live, I will work to expand access to safe, transformative, healing outdoor experiences for others.

I will research the barriers to resources that help hurting people spend healing time in nature. I will give time, talents, and resources to those who preserve the outdoors and teach responsible, respectful use of natural resources and lands. I will pursue and support organizations that open the door to the outside…especially those doors that have been historically, systemically, and violently closed… and I will beckon with all my heart.

How has the outdoors healed you? Will you join me in bringing healing to others?

-Christine G., Board Member